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By Joshua Goodwin
Often times when
young people get married or leave home for the first time they
experience a feeling of invincibility. They can’t imagine any
challenge or hardship that they won’t be able to overcome and they
honestly expect that life is only going to get better from here on
out. This blissful happiness and temporal optimism can continue for
many weeks and even months. However, soon the challenges and
responsibilities of a family bring many problems and obstacles that
you’ve never had to face before. A young couple just starting out
or even a single person just venturing out on their own can soon
find themselves facing many hardships and difficulties, not the
least of which is financial debt. Of course there are many reasons
that individuals and especially young married couples get into
financial problems, but this article will only be addressing one of
the more common mistakes that plague young people in our
society today. That is trying to live the same lifestyle that your
parents do, without being able to afford it.
Without a doubt
God has blessed this nation that we live in. One of the benefits of
these blessings is being able to enjoy a standard of living that is
consistently improving. Even the poor in America have many of the
conveniences and luxuries only dreamed about in many other countries
around the world. In the United States only 12% of the population
is considered to be living below the poverty line, while in Haiti an
astounding 80% of the population is considered to be impoverished.
In 2003, unemployment was only 6.2% in the U.S., compared to 70% in
Zimbabwe. Death by starvation is unheard of America, but worldwide
someone dies of starvation every 3.4 seconds.
Many individuals
that are leaving home to begin a life of their own are leaving a
life of comparative luxury. Their parents own 2 cars, both of which
are reasonably new. They live in a 2-story, 4-bedroom house in one
of the nicer parts of town. They go out for dinner on a regular
basis. They take multiple vacations each year. If they are out
shopping and see something that they need or want, they go ahead and
buy it.
This is the
lifestyle and atmosphere that young people are accustomed to when
they begin to start their own families. So this is the same
lifestyle that they expect to continue to have. Young wives expect
their new husband to provide them with the same lifestyle and
possessions that their parents provided for them. Young husbands
also expect to continue to maintain the same lifestyle they’ve
enjoyed as a single person.
Now it is easy to
look at all of the possessions that your parents have and expect to
have them yourself. You can look at the lifestyle that they have
and just assume that is the way your lifestyle should be as well.
However, this is like comparing apples to oranges. It would be much
better if you asked your parents what kind of house they started out
living in. How many vacations did they take the first few years of
their marriage? How often did they go out to eat? What kind of
gifts did they get for each other for Christmas when they were newly
married?
It may come as a
surprise to many young people to find out that their parents have
not always been able to enjoy the lifestyle that you’ve seen them
living over the last few years. Most of our parents started out
living in houses that we wouldn’t even consider living in. They
drove cars that we would be ashamed to be seen in. If they took
vacations at all, it was just to go visit family. Eating out was
something that only occurred once or twice a year, not once or twice
per week. They might give you nice gifts for Christmas now, but in
the beginning they could barely afford gifts at all.
Now this certainly
isn’t indicative of every single family. Some may have been better
off, but some were certainly worse off. Regardless, the point is
that when your parents were first starting their life together they
didn’t have the same material possessions nor could they afford the
lifestyle that you see them living today. It took many of them 20,
25, or even 30 years to be able to afford the house they live in
now. Many of them drove used cars that required faith to even
operate, before they were able to afford that new Buick that they
might drive today. So, we are sadly mistaken if we think that we
should immediately be entitled to live the same lifestyle that took
our parents so long to achieve!
As young people,
we do have things much better than our parents did 30 years ago.
Even just starting out, many of us can afford to live in nicer
houses than they did. We are able to drive nicer cars than they
could. Even take more vacations and buy more and nicer “things”
than they were able to do. However, it is important to maintain a
lifestyle that you can afford rather than just using debt to finance
the lifestyle that you would like to have.
There’s nothing
wrong with living in a newly-constructed 2-story house…if you can
afford it. However, you may be much better off with an older
2-bedroom ranch. Now that might be a step down to what you’ve been
used to while living with your parents, but remember they didn’t
start out that way. They probably had to save for many years before
they could afford the type of house that you think you need to have
even though you’re just starting out.
Having two
beautiful, brand-new vehicles is a very nice…if you can afford it.
Ask your parents what kind of vehicles they drove when they were
newly married. Your income may indicate that you would be much
better off driving a used vehicle.
I think you get my
point. There is nothing wrong with having any of the material
possessions that your parents may have…just as long as you can
afford it. However, for most individuals they will have to accept
the fact that they can’t have everything that their parents have.
At least not when they are first starting out. Use your own income
and situation as a basis for these decisions rather than what you
are used to or see that other people have. Making the right choices
early on can save you a lot of financial turmoil and stress. Even
if this means giving up some of the benefits that you had while
living with your parents.
In conclusion,
much of the debt that is being incurred by young people today is
because they are trying to have immediately what it took their
parents years to obtain. A wiser younger person/couple will realize
that they will be much better off (both now and in the future) if
they accept a more modest standard of living. In most cases, this
will probably require you to “downgrade” the lifestyle that you’ve
become accustomed to. However, the quicker that you are able to do
this, the sooner that you will be able to improve your standard of
living. Your “dream house” may have to remain just a dream for a
few years, but this will give you something to work for. If you’re
able to minimize debt while you’re young, then you will most likely
get to enjoy the lifestyle of your parents at a much earlier age
than they did.
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