Christian Humor - Top 10 Lists

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MAY NOT BE READING YOUR BIBLE ENOUGH:

10) The Preacher announces the sermon is from Galatians ... and you check the table of contents.

9) You think Abraham, Isaac & Jacob may have had a few hit songs during the 60's.

8) You open to the Gospel of Luke and a WWII Savings Bond falls out.

7) Your favorite Old Testament Patriarch is Hercules.

6) A small family of woodchucks has taken up residence in the Psalms of your Bible.

5) You become frustrated because Charlton Heston isn't listed in either the Concordance or the Table of Contents.

4) Catching the kids reading the Song of Solomon, you demand: "Who gave you this stuff?"

3) You think the Minor Prophets worked in the quarries.

2) You keep falling for it every time when Pastor tells you to turn to First Condominiums.

1) The kids keep asking too many questions about your usual bedtime story: "Jonah the Shepherd Boy and His Ark of Many Colors."

Top 10 THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH:

1) Hey! It's MY turn to sit on the front pew!

2) I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went over time 25 minutes.

3) Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

4) I've decided to give our church the $500.00 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

5) I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

6) Forget the denominational minimum salary: let's pay our pastor so s/he can live like we do.

7) I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

8) Since we're all here, let's start the worship service early!

9) Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

10) Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!